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rejected dating profile ideas:

"ISO extremophiles, in that i'm CAUSTIC, SALTY, HOT and under IMMENSE PRESSURE

... also ... slime,,,,,"

so what i'm hearing is that something having to do with masto and the freedom of information act but spelled very wrong

bobbi boosted

you've heard of the elf on the shelf, now get ready for 

the inexorable advance of time.

new phone was inexpensive which was nice but also it's so large and i got a kinda beefy case for it since it's fallen off a counter already within like 2 days but it's so .... more large

i might have to simply accept the risks or get like a bouncy phone skin or something

by the time i have to replace this one they Better have started making phones that are normal size again

bobbi boosted

the "sufficient tit" is the great tit's smaller cousin

it was shipped "fedex overnight" and will have taken more than a week but ya know?

it's fine. as long as it arrives it's fine. ok as long as it arrives and also my broken backup phone for my more broken phone i'm replacing doesn't literally catch fire 😌

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80% of the things are all fucked up but fedex finally found my phone and it is moving so it might actually arrive before the "activate by this date or pay us the rest of full price which is not very much but still several times what you already paid us because it was goofily discounted" window runs out!

and then maybe i'll have a phone that has echo cancellation and doesn't require me to talk VERY LOUDLY ALL THE TIME and look like it's about to explode lmao

( those are two separate reasons i'm pretty sure but also neither is helping )

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can i make "germ free mice" into a night in the woods joke?

no. because my brain doesn't work and i have never played a video game

i don't even remember if that's how the line goes i haven't seen these one in like a billion ± 999985 years

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now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by anthropogenic climate change

the winter of our discontent warnings

bobbi boosted

im!!! *kicks over the burning trash barrel so it rolls out into the street* sLEEPy!!!

ok ok see the joke is that that's what happened to "burpees" the fact that they make you burp sometimes maybe is coincidental it's like ... you know ...

ok i'll level this one made more sense in my head,

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the sharps container, named for its inventor, physiologist Royal H. Sharps

everyone: you can't say that things aren't real and simply don't exist

me, serenely: i literally just did tho???

the trick to understanding quantum gravity is to remember that gravity isn't real. it simply does not exist 😌

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